Saturday, December 3, 2011

How to Have Your Chick-fil-A Boycott & Eat Their Food, Too

How do you boycott a restaurant when you crave their food?

I didn't know I was supposed to be boycotting Chick-fil-A until my friend Bob forwarded me a link to an article from this past January entitled "Yes, Chick-fil-A Says, We Explicitly Do Not Like Same-Sex Couples." The story, posted on the site, says that Chick-fil-A is "a restaurant where franchises frequently donate to anti-gay organizations like the Pennsylvania Family Institute, Focus on the Family and others. The restaurant's charitable arm, WinShape, holds conferences for opponents of gay marriage and praises their work. And this charitable arm's Retreat program puts a blanket ban on gay couples using their facilities, because they 'do not accept homosexual couples.'"

Nick never hesitates to express an opinion
I'm not terribly surprised. I knew Chick-fil-A is known for promoting its founder's Christian values and is closed on Sundays. Every organization has the right to promote its values, of course; how boring this world would be if that weren't the case.

But in this case, my head is in conflict with my stomach (which is nothing unusual). So I've been thinking of ways I might boycott Chick-fil-A and still enjoy their scrumptious sandwiches, waffle fries, and fresh-made lemonade. And ooooh child, did you ever have their banana pudding milkshake? Or their breakfast chicken biscuit or their...

Okay, back on track here. These are a few schemes for getting Chick-fil-A sandwiches without supporting them financially.

Minnie wants her some Chick-fil-A
Plan A. My partner Nick suggests I dress up as Mickey Mouse and explain that my wife Minnie has never had a Chick-fil-A sandwich and wants one for her birthday. But given that I am Mickey Mouse, all my money is tied up in Disney stock options. This might work; I mean, who would dare refuse Mickey Mouse?

Plan B. Organize a flash mob. Using social media, I would arrange a flash mob that will, at a specific Chick-fil-A location and at a precise day and time, begin singing and dancing to Katy Perry's "Firework," complete with pyrotechnic bras. I will have placed my food order just a moment before the flash mob erupts. As the employees break out their own firework-spewing brassieres and join the dance, I sneak away.
Katy Perry's firework bra

Plan C. Go to work at a Chick-fil-A restaurant. Presumably employees get free Chick-fil-A sandwiches. I know this is probably true because when I was 16, I worked at a McDonald's in Greensboro. I got so much free food that my face quickly transformed into a pimple plantation. I quit after one week. However, the closest Chick-fil-A from our home in San Francisco is an hour away. Drive two hours every day just for a free Chick-fil-A sandwich? No one is that desperate (not even me).

How would you boycott Chick-fil-A without having to give up their food? I'd love to hear your ideas because, frankly, I may need them.

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  1. Ugh. We are in this same boat. WHY oh WHY does Chic-fil-A have to have such delish fries? It's just not right!

  2. And here is another kink in the boycott: In my town Chick-fil-a has a fantastic indoor playground. So, when the weather is bad I've been known to spend a lot of time there. The kids love it. And when the weather is good they have a great outdoor playground too!

    I say pick your battles. Chick-fil-a can't be one of mine.

  3. I played golf down in Atlanta with my brother and we got set up with a Choc-filet big shot. At the end of the round he gave us several coupons for free stuff. When I tried to use them I found they had expired 3 months before he gave them to me.

    Boycott the cheap skates, no food is that good. Either that or you couold go, just boycott them!

    Cranky Old Man

  4. Fell in love with Chck-fil-a going through Texas. The one you refer to an hour from SF is a big disappointment. It simply wasn't the same to go to a mall in Vallejo.

    First, they must be encouraged to come closer in -- even Walnut Creek! Then they can be better boycotted.

  5. I can only think of one way. For every $1 you spend at Chick-fil-a, donate $1 to a a gay rights group. Wouldn't do much on an individual basis, but would have a big impact on a national scale.

  6. I used to be in an abusive relationship. I was in love with Chick-Fil-A, but it's love in return was hollow calories and it snuck around behind my back with religious right organizations. Just walk away, Jim. I'm sure you can find another restaurant in San Francisco that will treat you right.

  7. I have never eaten anything chick-fil-a..... And I never will, now... I support gay everything... Not only because my child is gay but because we all should live as we wish... Just like the chain eatery wants to close on Sunda's.... It's their call not mine.... Likewise, they should stay out of other people decisions......

  8. I sure am gonna miss chick-fil-a :'( but I see no way around it! They can stand for whatever they believe in but we have to too! :-) they'll not get any more of my $! Maybe somebody who loves me & doesn't take the same stand against chick-fil-a will just surprise me w/ some food :-) if I don't use my $ to purchase the food will I be able 2 eat it quilt free? :-\

  9. I have this issue with WalMart. I'm boycotting them for suing one of their employees for subrogation on her health insurance claim after a critical car accident. (well, and the fact that WalMart creeps me out) But, every once in awhile, it's the only place that haves what I need. I feel so guilty spending money there after taking such a big stand against them.

    Man oh man though--Chick FilA with extra pickles. Maybe it's the food that can bridge the gap between ignorance and acceptance???

    (wishful thinking, I know)

  10. And, I can't believe I wrote,"and HAVES."


  11. Hahaha at JuJu. I have a Chick FilA right around the corner from where I work and I've probably only been there 3 or 5 times in the past 4 years. Now I have a reason to never go there again. I'm sure they aren't going to go broke losing my one visit per year, but one person can make a difference.

  12. You have no choice but to get their food for free. Theft is an option.

    That way, you don't boycott, you satisfy your cravings, and you hit them where it hurts.

  13. BTW, what Chick-fil-A is doing is worthy of a boycott.

    Usually, it's the conservative founder or owner of a company that funds anti-gay causes out of their own pocket.

    In this case, the actual Chick-fil-A businesses are supporting anti-gay causes. It's coming right out of their customers' money and represents a corporate position.

  14. James the solution is easy..have your straight friends go in to buy food for you!