Sunday, March 25, 2012

Worst Poem in History - Move Over, Waffle House

On Friday, the Huffington Post declared a poem about Waffle House, which the chain restaurant posted on its Facebook page, as the worst in history.

I took that as a challenge: to write verse that's even worse. But not about Waffle House, that's been done. No, my poem is an ode to Chick-Fil-A.

But before I inflict it upon you, here is the Waffle House poem:

Waffle House Waffle House
We are home grown
Where the Customer is king
And every booth is a throne

Waffle House Waffle House
Home away from home
Scattered Smothered Covered Diced
The All-Star zone

Waffle House Waffle House
New home of the Toddle House
Come one come all
Bring the whole family out

Waffle House Waffle House
We're here 24/7
Bert's Chili, Alice's Tea
Welcome to heaven

Okay, here goes my wretched Chick-Fil-A homage. You've been warned.

I love fried chicken
Nick expressing disapproval
And adore Chick-Fil-A
I could eat there all the time
Except, of course, on Sunday

I love waffle fries
And Chick-Fil-A's sure are tasty
They're even cooked in peanut oil
And they're 35 percent Vitamin C!

I'll be in N.C. soon
And Chick-Fil-A is all around
I'll eat there once or twice
And put on many a pound

It's true I must confess
I loves me my Chick-Fil-A
But why don't they don't love me too?
Silly me, it's because I'm gay


Are you feeling inspired to wax poetic about your favorite chain restaurant? If so, please share. Go ahead, knock the crown for putrid poetry right off my head!

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  1. Well, I'm bored at work today, and Bonefish Grill isn't fast food, but it IS a chain... so here goes:

    O Bonefish Grill, I adore you.
    Thy siren's call beckons me...
    Tempting me with succulent morsels,
    Delicious treasures from the sea.

    Your Bang Bang Shrimp I cannot resist,
    They are spicy, salty and sweet.
    The Ahi Sashimi, when not overdone,
    Is another delectable treat.

    An entree of tender Grilled Mahi
    May well be my favorite dish.
    Adorned with fresh chimichurri,
    It is absolutely deeeelish!

    But my heart shall remain slightly broken,
    Since you deleted the Lemongrass Martini.
    The other cocktails are just mediocre...
    Please bring back Lemongrass, you meanies!

    1. I love it! I'd be upset about the loss of the Lemongrass Martini, too.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Sorry... I noticed I somehow managed to post my ode to Bonefish twice. Oops! (I could really use a Lemongrass Martini right about now!)